Telegram Chaos

A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,
Which the father receives as:
"Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."

A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife:
"I wish you were here."
The message received by wife:
"I wish you were her."

A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue,she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached him as:
"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."


E-mail Ooops

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
PS: Sure is hot down here.


Wrong Number

A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day, she dials her home and a strange woman answers.

The woman says, "Who is this?"

"This is the maid," answered the woman.

"We don't have a maid," said the woman.

The maid says, "I was hired this morning by the man of the house.

The woman says, "Well, this is his wife. Is he there?"

The maid replied, "He is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was his wife."

The woman is fuming. she says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"

The maid says, "What will I have to do?"

The woman tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the witch he's with."

The maid puts the phone down; the woman hears footsteps and then gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"

The woman says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."

Puzzled, the maid answers, "But there's no pool here."

A long pause and the woman says, "Is this 832-4821?"