46 Signs That You May be Canadian

1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
2. You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk".
3. You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine".
4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
5. You drink pop, not soda.
6. You know what it means to be on pogey.
7. You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh!"
8. You can drink legally while still a 'teen.
9. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
10. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.
11. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
12. You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex and you don't want to know if he has!
13. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
14. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
15. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
16. You sit on a couch not a chesterfield - that is some small town in Quebec!
17. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
18. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
19. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".
20. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that".
21. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly".
22. You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
23. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
24. You participated in "Participaction".
25. You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me".
26. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
27. Unlike any international assasin/terrorist/spy in the world, you don't possess a Canadian passport.
28. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
29. You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize", and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
30. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
31. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
32. You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo" opus.
33. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
34. You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.
35. You don't have to buy your friends in sororities and fraternities.
36. You know what a toque is.
37. You have some memento of Doug and Bob.
38. You admit Rich Little is Canadian and you're glad Jerry Lewis is not.
39. You know Toronto is not a province.
40. You never miss "Coaches Corner".
41. Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favourite food groups. 42. You actually pronounce all the letters in badminton.
43. You know what "bunny-hugs" and "hoodies" are.
44. You know that a "washroom" is the same as a bathroom.
45. You pronounce pasta as "pawsta".
46. You say "zed" is the last letter of the alphabet.

30 Things That are Cool About Canada

1. Crispy Crunch
2. Smarties
3. Coffee Crisp
4. The size of Canadian footballs/football fields; one less down
5. The fact that the new "World Cup" trophy is too gay for words when compared to the old Canada Cup trophy
6. Lacrosse is Canadian
7. Hockey is Canadian
8. Basketball is Canadian
9. The biggest flags ever seen at the Olympic closing ceremonies were Canadian (twice...and the second one was smuggled in against a rule that was made because of the first one)
10. Mr. Dressup could kick Mr. Roger's butt
11. Way better beer commercials/beer company contests/beer company giveaways (Molson is having a national party in a cabin in the Rockies this summer with Great Big Sea and Big Sugar...no purchase necessary...and the next morning one of the hung over party goers gets keep the house! The Molson Canadian House Party)
12. Much Music kicks on MTV
13. Maple Syrup kicks Mrs. Butterworths (I don't know about Aunt Jemima)
14. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin Donuts
15. In the war of 1812 we burned the White house and most of Washington
16. Canada has the largest French population in the world that never surrendered to Germany
17. Our "Civil war" was led by a drunken, insane William Lyon McKenzie
18. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little less than an hour
19. The only person arrested and hanged after our civil war was an American mercenary who slept in and missed the whole fight, showing up just in time to get caught
20. We knew plaid flannel was cool way before Seattle did
21. The Hudson Bay company once owned 1/11th of the Earth's surface and is the oldest continuous company in the world
22. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a grown human in less than three minutes
23. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo
24. We don't marry our kinfolk
25. We invented snowmobiles, jet skis, Velcro, zippers, zambonis, and the handles on cardboard beer cases
26. We can hum the theme to "Definition"
27. We know that any scale that says water boils at 212 and freezes at 232 is asinine
28. We've all frozen our tongues to something metal, and lived to tell about it
29. We wear socks with our sandals
30. We can out-drink Americans. Sorry again folks, but it was too Canadian to pass up